I love NY for these moments of disinterest and inaction. This dirty dong has been sitting on the sidewalk since Saturday. Nobody's paying attention to it, and if they are, nobody's about to do anything about it. Specifically what to do about it, I don't know. Play hackey sack with it? Slip it in a Goodwill donation slot? Give the dog a bone to chew on?
I get why it's still there. Leaving it there is hilarious. There are no doubt other people thinking like me, (in)acting like me, hoping that by doing nothing, some classy, blue-haired, uptown dame in a fur coat would stumble upon it shriek and clutch her pearls, appalled by the indecency of some people and aghast at the mere size of the thing. If only I could be there for that moment. If only those sorts of dames wandered down this way.