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Elsewhere and Otherwise in Crown Heights this Afternoon

I missed out on the free baby, but there were yet other artifacts to find in Crown Heights this afternoon. A bundle of soggy yellow newspapers on an awning, a crate of expired soups sat on the sidewalk under it. More than one bundle was on the awning. How did the newspapers get up there? A superhuman toss. A bodybuilding paperboy. Were these soups fair game? I haven't had Campell's in years. 

I saw signage I expect was intended to keep the door shut. But "PLEASE PUSH CLOSE BEHIND YOU" also reads like a direction towards intimacy; it says "step backwards until you feel hot breath on your neck." I tried. Unfortunately, nobody was there. The block was empty except for me on it.